


Fearless

by hannahindie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean Winchester - Freeform, Dean x Reader, F/M, Implied miscarriage, Reader Insert, Sam Winchester - Freeform, Supernatural - Freeform, han writes the thing, spn fanfic, supernatural fanfiction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 14:18:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16955604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahindie/pseuds/hannahindie
Summary: The reader had left hunting years ago, and Dean comes back to try to convince her to come with them. When she refuses, Dean finds himself in a predicament. The reader has to make a decision.





	Fearless

**“The girl I knew used to be fearless.”**

I froze, my hands clenched tightly by my sides, and spun around to face Dean.

“Excuse me?”

Dean jammed his hands in his pockets nervously, as if he hadn’t expected me to turn around. “I’m just saying, the girl I knew when I was kid…she wouldn’t run away. The girl I knew grew up and became one of the best hunters I know.”

“The girl you knew has not existed for years. The girl you knew lost more than she could have ever dreamed of losing, because of this life. And now here you are, just expecting me to hop back into it, because _you asked me to_? Who do you think you are, Dean Winchester?” I spat as the anger bubbled just under the surface. Dean didn’t know what had happened to me because he hadn’t asked. He was working based off of assumptions he made about who I was ten years ago, not who I was now.

“Well, I’m freakin’ adorable, for starters-”

The dam holding back every single thought I’d kept inside for the past decade broke. I crossed the space between us and glared up at him. For a moment, I figured it must look comical, Dean being at least a foot taller than me, but I must have looked angry enough for that to not matter. “What you are is a self-centered, egotistical asshole that thinks he can get what he wants by flashing a smile and saying something endearingly stupid.” 

Dean’s smile slowly turned into a scowl, but I was on too much of a roll to stop. “What you are,” I growled, accentuating each word with a jab to his chest, “is a giant pain in my ass that I’m glad I left behind years ago. I have lost my family, I have lost my child, I have lost just about every single person I have ever cared about in this world, but I have not lost my ability to call out your bullshit.”

Dean’s eyes widened, “Your child?”

I jabbed him in the chest again, “Do not interrupt me. You have no right to tell me who I used to be, and you sure as hell don’t have the right to come back into my life and ask for my help. I’m not some doe-eyed, little hunter that’s going to follow you around and hope that you notice me anymore. I’m not a hunter anymore. Just…just leave, Dean.” I turned and walked back into my house, leaving Dean alone on the sidewalk wide eyed and slack jawed, and slammed the door shut. I leaned against it and closed my eyes, and my heart broke when I heard the familiar sound of the Impala’s engine roar to life, then fade out as he sped off. I slid down the door and hit the floor, and for the first time in a very long time, I cried because of Dean Winchester.

* * *

_Three days later…_

A loud, bone-rattling banging woke me from a dreamless sleep, and I moaned into my pillow. I didn’t know what time it was, but something told me it was too late for someone to be making an attempt to bust in my front door. I sat up with a groan and grabbed the Louisville slugger that I kept next to my bed. I may not have hunted anymore, but I wasn’t stupid. The loud banging had stopped, but as I shuffled slowly down the hall and cautiously turned the corner towards the front door, it started up again.

Although I hesitated to answer, my irritation was winning out over my caution, “I’m coming, Jesus, can you hold on a second?” I flipped the porch light on and peered through the peephole. All I could see was the top of someone’s head, but I recognized the shaggy, chestnut hair immediately. “Sam?” I pulled the door open, and Sam nearly fell on top of me. I had to drop the bat to catch his enormous frame. “Holy shit, Sam, what happened?” I somehow wrangled him to the couch and let him fall heavily into it. He leaned his head against the cushion, his eyes shut and his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

Blood splattered his unshaven face, and a bruise was already forming on his right eye. His bottom lip looked to be split, and by the way he was carefully nursing his side as he shifted his position on the couch, I guessed he probably had a couple of broken ribs. The front of his shirt was ripped open and, judging by the amount of blood, he probably needed stitches. “What the hell happened, Sam?” I knelt by the couch and pulled back his shirt to see the damage.

Sam hissed as the shirt pulled away from the wound, “Vampires. We, uh….dammit…uh…we had a bit of a problem.”

I looked up at him, my eyebrow raised, “You don’t say? You need stitches.” I made my way to the bathroom to grab my first aid kit. “Where’s Dean?” I shouted over my shoulder as I dug around in the medicine cabinet, pulling out the kit and a small bottle of whiskey. Despite my claims, there was still a bit of hunter in me, and I found that old habits died hard.

“He…he’s still there. In the nest.”

I came back into the living room and stopped in front of Sam. “Why…how did that happen?” I asked with a frown as I uncapped the whiskey.

Sam struggled to pull his shirt off as I knelt down in front of him again, “We thought it was just the one vamp, maybe two. Turned out it was an entire nest. We were hoping you’d help, but Dean said you were busy. I told him we should wait to get some backup, but you know how he is. Thinks he’s freakin’ indestructible.”

I hummed in response and hoped that that was all Dean had said to Sam. We were silent for a moment as I poured the whiskey over Sam’s wound, the only sound to break the silence a muffled groan as Sam tried to power through it. I heated up the needle and looked up at Sam apologetically, “All I have is floss…sorry.”

Sam chuckled darkly, “Minty fresh, I guess.” He very subtly twitched as the needle pierced his skin the first time, but remained still as I began to stitch him up. “Y/N…”

“Yea?” I asked, keeping my eye on the task at hand.

“Dean said…umm…he mentioned that you two kind of fought.”

I shrugged, “If you can call me verbally handing him his ass an argument, sure.”

“That sounds about right.” He watched as I tied off the floss and reached for a bandage. “He also mentioned that you said you’d lost…that you’d lost a child. Why didn’t you tell us?” I sighed as I smoothed the bandage over his stitches, lingering longer than I needed to so I could try to come up with an excuse, any reason to not have to tell Sam the truth. But then I looked up and Sam was giving me that look, the one that had always gotten him his way. I have never been certain if he did it on purpose, but regardless, it worked every damn time.

I sat back on my haunches and sighed, “Because I wanted to forget about it, okay? I made a mistake, and I was questioning what I wanted to do…and then I went on a hunt that should have been simple, and it wasn’t, and then my decision was made for me. And it was in that moment that I realized that the one chance I had at a normal life was gone because of who I was…and I didn’t want to keep living like that. And if I’d told you and Dean, I may have never left.”

Sam looked at me, his gaze soft, and I watched as realization crossed his features.

“Was it Dean’s?” he whispered, so quiet I almost didn’t hear him.

My chest tightened at his words, and though I could have tried to lie, Sam would have known. I nodded and looked down at my hands, afraid to look Sam in the face. I could feel a tear roll down my cheek, and I hastily wiped it away.

“We could have helped you…you shouldn’t have had to deal with that alone.” I stood up and quickly walked into the kitchen. I tossed the towels and bandage wrappers in the trash, washed my hands, then went to the fridge and grabbed a beer.

“It wasn’t your problem to deal with. And it would have destroyed Dean, you know that. It was better that I left. I handled it, and I got a new life. It’s quiet and I have a respectable job, and who knows…maybe someday I’ll get to have that chance again.”

Even saying it out loud wasn’t convincing. I had wanted nothing more than to tell Dean what happened. He had deserved to know, but at the last minute I chickened out. I ran. The girl that Dean thought was fearless has been overtaken by it and ran. As nice as it was to have a normal life, I still ached for the hunt. I avoided newspapers and television so that I wouldn’t accidentally come across something that needed to be investigated. I still had all of my burner phones, even if I did avoid checking them in fear that Dean’s voice would be waiting for me. The past ten years had been a long con that was designed only for me, and up until now, it had been working.

I felt Sam’s large hand pull the beer from my hand and heard the clink of it as he sat it on the counter. Before I could object, he pulled me into him, his chin resting gently on the top of my head. His flannel clad arms had me trapped, and I finally sank into them and let the years of sadness and frustration come pouring out. I cried for me, and for Dean. I cried for the family we could have had and the years I had lost with two of the most important people in my life. I don’t know how long we stood like that, but when I finally pulled back I saw that Sam’s eyes weren’t dry either, and I realized for the first time how damn tired he looked.

I cleared my throat as I rubbed the tears from my eyes, “Alright, Sammy, let’s go get your brother.”

He raised his eyebrows, “You sure?”

I nodded and made my way to the hall closet, “Yea. I’ve been lying to myself for a long time. I’m a hunter, it’s not as if you just quit being one. Also, I owe Dean an explanation and an apology…regardless of if he gets mad at me. He kinda needs to be alive for me to do that.” I tossed a duffel bag to Sam and he smirked at the fully stocked go bag. “Keep it to yourself, Sasquatch. We’ve got some vamps to kill.” 

* * *

We parked the car about half a mile from the abandoned warehouse that the vamps had holed up in and quietly walked the remaining distance. I groaned as we came up on it, it’s silhouette dark against the moonlit sky. “Why do they always choose the most disgusting places to hide?”

Sam smiled, “You sound like Dean.” He nodded his head to the left and motioned for me to follow. We crept around the side of the building and Sam held his hand up to stop me. He cautiously peered through the window above us. “I see him,” he whispered.

“Is he okay?” I grimaced at how stupid that sounded.

Sam looked down at me, “Well, he’s tied to a chair and he looks like shit, but he’s in one piece. So…yea?” He looked back through the window, but dropped suddenly and pressed his back against the wall, yanking me down with him. “Okay, so we managed to kill quite a few of them, but there’s at least four more in there.” He grimaced and I put a hand on his shoulder.

“Are you sure you can do this? I can take out four vamps on my own, you’re not in any shape to try…”

Sam rolled his eyes, “You’ve been out of the game for a decade. No offense, Y/N, but unless you’ve been training for absolutely no reason, I don’t think it’s a good idea. We’re both going in. There’s a back door we can use, come on.”

I grumbled under my breath, but couldn’t deny that he was right. “Okay, fine. Lead the way.” We snuck along the side of the building and around to the back where a large steel door blocked our way inside. Sam grabbed the handle and pulled and almost immediately hit the ground.

“Dammit,” he ground out, his hand instinctively reaching for his injured ribs.

I knelt down in front of him, “Sam, I’ve got this. Keep an ear out, and if we need anything I’m sure you’ll hear me. Okay?” I pulled out both of my machetes and grinned, “Besides, it’s been awhile since I’ve had a nice decapitation. I’m about due.” Sam looked up at me, worry lines between his eyebrows, and I couldn’t help but give him a quick kiss on the top of his head. “I’ll be fine, kiddo. I’m gonna go save your idiot brother.”

I pulled the door open as quietly as I could and slipped inside. Sam’s muffled “ _We’re the same freakin’ age_ ” comment made me smile as I stalked the dark hallways, looking for the room Dean was being kept in. I stopped short of the doorway I thought would take me to him when I heard voices on the other side of the wall.

I chanced a quick look around the corner and saw two men standing with their backs turned towards me. I took a deep breath and hoped that my upper body strength was as good as it used to be. I tightened my grip on both machetes and crept up behind both without them noticing. In one swift motion I swung both machetes at the same time and connected with their necks with a sickening crunch. Although their heads were still attached, it had been enough to knock them to the floor. I pulled the machetes free and gave each of them another wack, then kicked their heads away from their bodies. Two down, two to go.

I walked through the doorway on the other side of the room and heard more voices, one unfamiliar and one that was.

“Where’s your brother?” Silence followed the question, then a resounding crack as skin hit skin, hard.

I heard Dean spit, “Go to hell.”

The unfamiliar voice laughed, “From what I’ve heard, you’ve already been there. You Winchesters have a habit of getting out of it though.” I peeked around the corner to see a man wearing leather pants and a vest with no shirt under it standing in front of Dean, his hands on the chair’s arms, and practically in Dean’s face. To his right, an equally disgusting woman stood, her long red hair dirty and tangled and her arms crossed. They looked far worse off than most vampires did, which meant that they were probably hungry, and not as strong as they could have been. I looked around the room for another way in.

“Yea, well, I guess it just doesn’t stick.” I could see Dean’s hands as they worked at the knot. “Why do you want us, anyway?”

“Bartering chip. There’s a few hunters out there willing to make us a deal: Letting us live in peace in exchange for the men who keep trying to destroy the world. You’d be surprised what some of them are willing to overlook to get revenge.”

I didn’t have to be able to see to know that Dean rolled his eyes. “Do you really think they’ll let you live? You’re even more stupid than I thought. They’re lying to you.”

“Oh, and you’ll do them one better? Let me live in exchange for your life?”

Dean laughed, “Oh, no, not at all. I fully intend on killing your ass the moment I get out of this chair. I can promise to make it quick though, your girlfriend, too.”

The vampire laughed and shoved away from Dean’s chair, “Nah, I think we’ll take our chances. The bounty on a Winchester is worth it.”

Just as I moved to head down the side hallway I had spotted, someone grabbed my by the arms and forced them behind me. Both machetes hit the ground with an echoing clang. Hot breath caressed my ear, and I shrank away from the dank smell. “Hello, sweetheart. A little off on your headcount, huh?” He shoved me out into the middle of the room, and the vamp that was interrogating Dean looked up.

“What do we have here?” The one that caught me shoved me forward to the middle of the room, and I fell to my knees in front of Dean. His face was bloody and swollen, but he still managed to wink at me when we made eye contact. What a cocky bastard. “What a pretty girl…is she yours, Dean?”

I glared at him, “I’m not anybody’s.” He knelt in front of me, and I could hear Dean struggling against the chair.

“If you lay a hand on her, I swear to God I will kill you!” Dean nearly roared.

The vampire laughed as he looked over his shoulder at Dean, “God doesn’t have anything to do with this. And I can’t promise anything, she smells…delicious.” He turned back to me and smiled, his vampire teeth sliding down over his human ones. “Now, normally I would just get you out of the way…we are really very hungry, and you just seem scrumptious, but…you’re too pretty for that. Maybe I’ll just turn you instead.” He leaned in, and I could feel his teeth grazing my throat. I looked over his shoulder and Dean was rocking back and forth in his chair, fighting against his restraints with wide eyes.

I was letting him get too close, and the moment I felt his teeth pierce the skin it occurred to me that I might have pushed my luck too far. Luckily for me, they weren’t the sharpest tools in the shed and they hadn’t checked my boots. I managed to get my knife out of my ankle holster and, with a wink at Dean, jammed it into the vampire’s neck. He screamed, but before he could move I grabbed him by the hair and stabbed him several more times. I heard a high pitched squeal and was thrown across the room, closer to where Dean was sitting. The vampire that had dragged me into the room headed straight towards me, but before he got to me Dean stood suddenly and slammed the chair into him.

The chair burst into pieces and shards of wood rained down around us. Dean shook the rope from his arms and managed to grab the man by his shirt and rammed him head first into the wall. I scrambled back to where I’d dropped the machetes, but was suddenly yanked backwards painfully by my hair. “Dammit!” I growled as I swept my leg back and caught the red headed vampire around the ankles. She hit the floor hard and I managed to untangle myself, then kicked her hard in the face as I dove back towards the machetes.

A shot rang out in the large, empty room and I looked up to see Sam standing in the opposite door, the Colt in his hand and the original vampire that I had stabbed lying dead in the floor. “Dean!” I shouted and slid the machete across the floor to him. I picked mine up and, in sync, we swung, and the dull thud of two heads hitting the floor marked the end of the fight. I stood, gasping, and slowly looked up to see Dean looking back at me, his chest heaving.

He dropped the machete and crossed the room in large strides until he was right in front of me. “Hey.”

“Hey.” It came out almost a whisper. It had been ten long years since I’d stood this close to him.

“Thanks for saving my ass.” His eyes traveled from mine down to my lips then back up. I felt a chill run down my spine as I watched his tongue sneak out to wet his lips.

I shrugged, “No big deal. Not like that’s changed after all these years.” He reached up slowly and ran the pad of his thumb across my cheek.

“You had..umm…a little something on your cheek.”

I hummed back in response, “Your whole face is a mess.”

He grinned, “You were always a charmer.” He tilted his head to take a look at my neck and frowned. “You’re bleeding.”

I put a hand to where I could feel blood trickling and grimaced, “Oh…yea. He got a little bitey.” Dean moved his hand to cover mine and locked eyes with me.

“You should really be more careful,” he whispered as he moved in close enough that our lips brushed.

“You should try not getting kidnapped by vampires.” I could feel him smile against me, and I felt warmth spread through me. Dean Winchester always had that effect on me, I wasn’t surprised. But it was a nice change from the last time I saw him. “Are you going to kiss me, Winchester, or are you going to keep stalling?”

He closed the space between us, and it felt like no time had passed at all. We molded together perfectly, like we were made to fit each other. His lips moved in sync with mine, and when his tongue swept along my bottom lip, I opened up to him. He tasted like I remembered; whiskey and mint, with a hint of coffee.

The sound of Sam clearing his throat interrupted us, and though we pulled apart, we stayed close, our foreheads touching. “Dean, we need to talk.”

He nodded gently, “I figured as much.” I felt his fingers curl around mine, and I squeezed his hand tightly. “Are you…I mean, will you come back with us?”

I pulled back and looked at him in confusion, “Back where? Which hotel are you staying in?”

Dean shook his head, “Not a hotel. Come _home_ with us. We…we have a place now. I mean, I understand if you don’t want to, you’ve got a life now-”

I silenced him with another kiss, then turned and began walking towards the exit, my hand still in Dean’s. “I think it’s about time I go where I belong. Take me home, Dean Winchester.”

“What made you change your mind?” he asked, confused.

I looked over my shoulder at him and grinned, “Well, you’re freakin’ adorable, for starters.”


End file.
